Myst - Paragraphing

Day 6 - Paragraphing

I explained to the children that over the next week they were going to be using MYST start writing a story. We discussed the need to use paragraphs.

Using Grammar For Writing,I explained to the children that they were going to learn all about paragraphs through a nursery rhyme they all knew - Humpty Dumpty.

I played a video clip of the nursery rhyme and encouraged the children to join in. They loved this! We then discussed the rhyme and identified the 3 main areas - Humpty sitting on the wall, Humpty falling off and Humpty couldn't be repaired. We talked about the possibility of making the nursery rhyme into a story. I read them the example .... 

BOX 1

The sun was hot, very hot. Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. For hours he gazed proudly at his

uniformed troops as they stood in rigid ranks before him. He felt on top of the world. Life was great. He was great. He was top egg. Sheer power welled up inside him. He leant forward and punched the air with his clenched fist. “Yes!”

BOX 2

Suddenly his rounded body began to rock. He felt giddy and his world began to spin. He wobbled.

He toppled. He fell. Splat! His shell shattered and its contents oozed onto the hot concrete, a yellow yolk glistening in the middle.

BOX 3

Cautiously the exhausted soldiers broke rank and approached the wall. They huddled around the

rapidly frying egg. They looked at each other in shocked silence. Then they laughed. There was no way now that they could put their leader back together again. What is more, they would not have done so, even if they could.

I explained to the children that they were now going to write Humpty Dumpty in their own words. I encvouraged the children to use phrases I had read out and use adjectives to describe what was happening in the story.

here are some examples.

Jack - One sunny day all of the other eggs were singingin like mad, so Humpty decided to sit on a giant wall. he looked with a suspicious look at the soldiers.

He slipped on a bit of egg shell. With a crash and a bang, he shattered into 100 pieces. You could hear his egg shell sizzling under the hot sun. 

All of his soldiers and their horses came in a flash, but they were to slow! The sun was cracking the egg shell. he tried to fix him, but there were too many pieces.

Ash - One freezing day, Humpty sat on the wall. The wall had loose bricks. he was shivering, saying to himself 'it's very cold'.

Suddenly the bricks became unstable and the wall fell down with Humpty too. he landed with a splat on the really cold grass.

The soldiers rushed over and tried to put him back together, but the shell pieces were like ice cubes.

Ollie - One sunny day, Humpty sat on the wall. Humpty was the king of Happy. Nothing could spoil his moment. 

Humpty wibbled and wobbled but fell. the breeze was in his face. he was scared.

When he hit the ground, he was splatted.The kings horse and kings men couldn't put Humpty together.

All these may seem like very short stories, they are in fact a huge achievement for the children. They always find it so difficult to write anything containing adjectives and structure. It was a very proud moment for me and the teaching assistants.